“Go play outside!” ~Mom
Well I got a little time on my hands so why not a “Real Talk” with Steph!
Anyone else out there in the world feel as if you are now at the age where you say things that your parent used to say to you?
“Boy, when I was your age…”
“Back in the day…”
“Things just ain’t what they used to be…”
Just to list a few…
So what happened? I think to answer that we would have to travel back in time. First, “video killed the radio star.” Kids these days will never know, nor appreciate, sitting for hours waiting for your favorite song to come on the radio just so you can hit the record button to make a mixed tape. If you were lucky you even get the beginning of the song. Now everything is available with a click of a button. (A tape was a plastic rectangle with brown plastic string stuff that you put in a cassette player and it would play music. Not to be mistaken for the sticky stuff.- for you young folks)
Back in our day, MTV, VH1, and CMT actually had music videos and not garbage like “16 and Pregnant” which glorifies teen pregnancy or “Jersey Shore” which shows stupid people and hold no value whatsoever. It just got worse from there…
We used to play outside until the street lights came on. On the weekends, we would play hide and go seek in the dark. Mom made dinner for the family and we sat at the table. If you didn’t like what she fixed, you didn’t eat. We drank water from a garden hose, and most of us are still alive to tell the story. We learned that drugs were bad, how to say no and not to give into peer pressure. We worked in the family business without the expectation of getting paid. We said “yes” not “yeah”, and “no” not “nah”. We called our elders “Sir”, “Ma’am”, “Mr.”, “Miss” or “Mrs” and never by their first names. We said please and thank you.
If we wanted something, we had to work for it! That way you learn to appreciate things instead of discarding or destroying what you have. We didn’t have cellphones and when we finally did there were no games on it and you could drop it without it breaking. It was used for one thing and one thing alone; making phone calls. When you finally learned how to text on it, it cost extra and would take you like 5 minutes to push your way through all the buttons.
If you were lucky, your family had a computer. Just one. If you came from a somewhat well off family, you would have internet but could only get online if no one else was on the house phone. (They used to hang on the wall and were connected with a cord. ) Even then you would have to wait 10 minutes, if not more, for it to dial up and connect. There was no Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, or MeWe.
If you wanted to take a picture, it required you to have a camera with film in it. Then you had to wait a week for those pictures to come back only to find they were trash. The first digital cameras took horrible grainy pictures that could only be printed on 4×6 glossy paper to look half way decent.
We took family vacations, even if that vacation was only a day and it meant we went Big Surf. When you went out for dinner, it was best you minded your manners, didn’t throw a fit, or you would go sit in the car. You asked your parents if it was ok to order XYZ, and you didn’t just assume.
We didn’t worry so much about child obesity, because we ran, biked, and skated. We didn’t have phone’s, tablets, lap tops, chromebooks, or gaming systems. When we did have a gaming system you only played it when it was raining out. Then and only then, you were the master of the sewer pipes and saved Princess Peach from King Koopa. If the sun was shining, you were outside where you stayed until your mom whistled or the street lights came on.
We talked to people. We could look them in the eye and have an intelligent conversations. We talked to our friends, we didn’t have a cell phone to look down on the entire time. Closest thing we got to a text message was when we passed notes in class and you hoped it wasn’t intercepted by the teacher. We took care of our bullies by standing up to them and didn’t cower in the corner and cry about how they were being mean. I’m not saying we didn’t have our share of problems; there were and will always be cliques. There is always going to be someone who believes they are better then everyone else. Yes we had problems, but it seemed like it was easier to take care of them. School stayed at school, home stayed at home, and we tried not to mix the two.
I could go on but we know that kids these days have it different. We as a generation, that don’t like to be considered millennials, have evolved ourselves. We can talk about how things are different and talk to kids like we are old, but the truth is; we are the ones that allowed it. Instead of talking to our kids we handed them those electronics we oh so often proclaim we despise. It’s often easier to ignore the issues instead of facing them head on. Many of us, including myself, are guilty of playing on our phones instead of having meaningful conversations. It’s easier to hand the kid something to keep them occupied rather than teaching them to entertain themselves.
So how do we teach our kids that this phone or tablet or website or whatever isn’t everything; that there is more to life? For staters, you can have electronic free days where you go do family things. Go on family vacation, even if it’s just a trip to Big Surf. Have family time. Kick the kids out of the house when the sun is shining. They wanna go to the pool? You’re not a taxi; they have 2 feet or a bike. Make dinner and sit at the table. Teach them to entertain themselves by coloring, playing with toys, or even card games. Teach them to be articulate, how to look at people when you talk to them and to have manners. Put down the phone. Explain to them that bullying will not be tolerated and teach them have a stand up for themselves; not with violence but with words and actions. If they want something, have them work for it so they can appreciate it. Teach them things that will help them be better adults and lead by example.
I’m sure that there will be many that don’t/won’t agree with me, and that’s fine. Just keep in mind that they really are our future. Somewhere out there is a 9 year old that one-day will be president. There’s a 5 year old that one day will be our local law enforcement. There’s a 15 year old that will one-day grow up to be a doctor, lawyer, or plumber. Some of those values and things that we learned as kids, are important for them to learn.
Put down the phone.
Stephanie Hilt 