Somethings Just Need To Be Said

“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” ~ Victor Hugo

I should be doing homework, but I feel as if there is something more important that we should discuss. So, lets chat.

It breaks my heart to open Facebook and read another “Fair winds and Following seas.” There have been so many in the past year that I have almost lost count. What saddens me the most is they are young lives, with so much potential, cut short. It’s a problem that is brought on by life’s ups and life’s downs. A battle that is fought internally within one’s self that has brought them to the point where they feel as if there is no other way.

Suicide and depression is one of those taboo subjects that no one wants to talk about, but everyone wants to look out for. We all can do the 22 a day challenge to bring awareness, but no amount of push-ups is going to solve the problem. There’s a stigma and it needs to be addressed.

One of the hardest things to do is to talk someone off the ledge; to convince someone they are worthy, loved and not alone. Many don’t talk about it; they go on about their lives secretly planning. We all have listened and read the comments, “He was just so nice, easy going, always making people laugh.” We go through the list in our heads wondering if they showed us a sign that we just simply missed.

There’s the issue of how we perceive ourselves and what we take on in our lives. Those of us in public service, military service, or civil service often take on the jobs that require us to give a piece of ourselves. We are on call, get woke up at all hours of the night, put in 40+ hours a week, spend time away from our families, and work under less than ideal circumstances and situations. We see things of nightmares that haunt our dreams and keep us up at night. We take on so much and do for others that we often forget to take care of ourselves. Who’s number 1? Who’s the most important? YOU ARE. I don’t care if your married, have kids, dogs, cats, or mortal enemies; you are number 1, you are the most important. Because in order to take care of others, you must first take care of yourself. Sometimes that taking care of yourself means going and talking to someone.

No. You’re not afraid to talk, you’re afraid of what others may say. So you bottle it up, cry on the inside, and put on a pretty face. You mask your feelings because you don’t want people to think you can’t handle it. You put up walls, become secluded. Maybe you decide to self-medicate, only to feel like crap the next day. All the while all those things that bother you, that keep you up, build up. Then, the damn breaks. You feel alone and your thoughts wonder…

You’re not alone.

Depression is sneaky and shows up when we least expect it. You’re left there wondering and thinking to yourself “If I go talk to someone, others will think I’m weak.” There’s a stigma that needs to be address; needs to be fixed. You’re not weak. You’re lost and need some help finding your way. You’re going through a mental health crisis. If you fall down and break your leg you’d go to the hospital and see a doctor, right? You wouldn’t just put it off and say “Nah, I got this” until you can’t walk anymore. So why wouldn’t you go see a mental health professional for your brain illness? There are those out there willing to help you through your time of need. You can go in person, on the phone, or even online. Sometimes you just need to tell a complete stranger all those things that you have bottled up. When you look at it, its almost the perfect relationship. Its not like your going to hang out later and they can’t judge you. They can’t tell anyone else because its confidential. You don’t even have to send them a Christmas card.

You’re not weak. You’re not alone.

I guarantee that there many of us that have felt the grips of depression before. Its real. Life can often make you feel like you’re on a roller coaster ride, built by the lowest bidder. Sometimes it’s a little slow and bumpy at first, then it can take you to places that make your heart race, or jar you from side to side, but it will always smooth out in the end, if you just stick with it. Those things that may bother you today, will be something that will make you stronger tomorrow. Rock bottom can make a good foundation to build up on. Before you know it, it’s merely a memory.

You are not weak. You are not alone. You are number 1. You are the most important. You.

Talk to someone, be it a friend, co-worker, boss, complete stranger, health care professional, just anyone. Seek out the help you need. Don’t worry about what others might think. Take care of you. Because there is no one who is youer than you and there are those out there that still need you.

If you are a boss, co-worker, battle buddy, wingman, or shipmate; for God’s sake, look after your people. Be supportive of those seeking help for themselves. There is nothing worse than trying to battle internal demons and not having a support system. If you notice someone is changing, address it. Don’t be afraid to pull someone aside and ask if they are ok. That one act of caring might just make a world of difference. You too can save a life and not even know it. Be supportive. Be supportive. Be supportive. Become familiar with places around your area that offer mental health. I can’t stress that enough.

If you or anyone you know is suffering from depression and contemplating suicide please, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.